Love in the Digital Age: The Reality of Modern Dating Apps
Remember the first time you swiped on a dating app? It was a mix of excitement and fear—a leap into the unknown. The prospect of potential matches was often more exhilarating than the matches themselves.
There’s a rush—a sense of validation you don’t get from traditional dating. Dating apps offer something new: instant possibilities, endless choices, and a convenient approach to finding romance.
My First Dating App Experience
It took me a while to get on dating apps. Back then, they carried a stigma—seen as platforms primarily for hookups rather than romantic connections. But during the pandemic, I was bored out of my mind. I wasn’t talking to anyone romantically interesting, so I decided to try it. I downloaded OKCupid and set my location to anywhere in the world..
Creating a profile was an unexpected thrill. Selecting the right pictures and crafting a catchy bio was like curating a new version of myself that felt more appealing, confident, and attractive to my ideal matches.
The Initial Swipes: A Dopamine Rush
Who knew swiping could be so addictive? Seeing hot people like me back gave me a dopamine hit like no other. The initial excitement was intense, made all the more harmless by the global lockdown.
There was no pressure to meet anyone in real life. It was flirting without consequence, connection without commitment. It was a terrific way to dip my toes into online dating and improve my conversational skills with clever one-liners and witty comebacks.
The Highs: Memorable Connections
I’ve always loved observing people, learning their stories, and understanding what makes them who they are. Dating apps have become the perfect venue for deep, insightful conversations without the pressure of looking good.
Talking to strangers online often brought out surprising honesty. Some people shared deeply personal thoughts—secrets they might never reveal face-to-face. I chatted with people from all walks of life, each with fascinating stories.
Through these conversations, I felt like I had traveled the world—learning about unfamiliar cities, hidden cafes, cultural traditions, and even regional cuisines.
The Joy of First Dates
When the world finally reopened, I decided to meet some of my matches. The anticipation of a first date carried its magic—the nervous energy, the thrill of possibility. It felt like a blind date, except I had already seen their faces and knew the intricate details of their lives.
I had my fair share of memorable first dates—from cozy coffee shop chats to spontaneous museum visits. Each date taught me something new, not just about the people I was meeting but about myself—what I valued, wanted, and would no longer settle for.
The Lows: Disappointments and Ghosting
As time passed, the novelty wore off, and the addictive highs became less satisfying. At some point, the matches became underwhelming, and the conversations became repetitive. What once felt thrilling started to feel transactional.
There’s also a pressure to look your best. Let’s face it. Most of the people on a dating app swipe right because of your looks. This means you have to look stunning and incredible without trying too hard. You have to show interest and have hobbies through your pictures. When, in reality, you are crouched on your couch with a double chin, smirking and judging people’s bio. The culture of dating apps forces us to curate a version of ourselves that doesn’t fully reflect who we are in daily life.
Dating apps are for instant interactions, so if you’re not quick on your feet, you’ll likely be left on read.
Ghosting became a common occurrence—mostly mutual, sometimes unexpected. It didn’t take long to realize that online matches were often fleeting. The nature of dating apps—endless options, instant gratification, and low commitment—meant that most people were passing the time rather than searching for the love of their lives.
It became an unspoken, acceptable truth: connections were disposable, and emotional investment was risky.
Did I Find Love on a Dating App?
No, but I met people with whom I shared excellent connections, even for brief moments. I still talk to a few of them. While our relationship is no longer romantic, it evolved into something deeper and lasting—friendship.
Some people may have found love through dating apps; I also met plenty stuck in an endless cycle of swiping, hoping for something better with the next match. I’m one of them. I developed a love-and-hate relationship with dating apps. I download them when I feel bored and need instant validation. After a few meaningless conversations, I would be reminded why I uninstalled them and then delete them.
As a serial app user, I found the best way to use it is not to take things seriously. Be open to possibilities, but don’t set your expectations too high. Beautiful things can happen when you take the pressure off meeting your soulmate.
While I haven’t found my ‘LOML’ yet, swiping, chatting, and meeting new people have taught me more about myself than I ever expected. I know what I want and won’t settle for anything—which I couldn’t have discovered without all the swiping and meeting.
